Fear Won't Win

Whew! It's been a while and SO much has happened over the last two weeks. Many of the events over this span of time involved overcoming fear in so many different aspects of my life. Overcoming fear doesn’t happen at the drop of a dime or automatically. It takes time and the conscious choice to not let the fear overcome your happiness. As a result of making the choice to overcome your fear(s), you grow as a person and nurture your happiness.

Many of us have something that we have always wanted to do and our reason for never doing it: fear. Mine was skydiving. Everytime I heard stories from friends who had done it I got so super excited and said the very common, "Oh! I'm going to do it!" Yeah, well then fear stepped in and my subconscious told me, "Like hell you're going to jump out of a plane!" Well guess what? I showed fear and my subconscious who was boss. Initially, after my leap of faith I thought that from that point on I was invincible to fear, that I could laugh in the face of it and I wouldn't find myself face to face with it for a long time. Good thought but not the truth. Maybe I can't escape the fear but I came away with the knowledge that I can conquer it. Anyone can; we can do anything we put our minds and our hearts to.

For years I 'played it safe' in many aspects of my life and only now am I realizing that in doing so, I was also choosing to be miserable. That just isn't acceptable anymore. Now I've decided that my fear won't win. Hell, if I can jump out of a plane, I can do anything. What I want to be is happy and after all that I have been through I deserve to give myself at least that.

On a recent trip to Georgia to see Maura and her family, I found myself face to face with fear. Back when I was a little girl I learned to water ski and I loved it, no fear whatsoever. But now, three months post-op from the rod removal, fear was on my shoulder telling me not to give it a go. Well guess what? I told fear to back off, sacrificing my happiness and fun wasn't an option, especially when it comes to playing in the water. Besides, I knew I could do it. And I did.

Liberating!

Yoga continues to be challenging yet also rewarding. Just thinking about inversions made me nervous. Inversions for me = a LOT of negative self talk. After the workshop that I did with yoga goddess Kathryn Budig I realized that the fun of yoga were the risks and challenges that it presented me. Now, instead of going immediately to child's pose I have begun to conquer headstand, handstand and forearm stand. Just being inverted for five seconds gives me SO much happiness. After my toes touch back to the ground I get a satisfying feeling of 'fu*k yeah!' and a smile that kills any fear in my path. Practice is progress.

So go out there and give fear a run for it's money. Choose happiness and take a risk. In the words of my dear friend Elli, "Fu*k yeah sista!"

Love :)